I stay so busy it is hard to be lonely, I have my kids and my work and so many other things to do in life that I couldn't really say I am lonely, just alone to support the home and everything that goes with it but the other thing I guess I have not let myself think of how wonderful it is to love a man, something I don't let myself do these days and in quite some time! How do I let down my guard and love again, and even then to trust in someone is hard for me! And maybe I will never find what I really want in a man if I even know what these days I guess lol but I would never just settle, I have came to far to long to hard! But it would be nice to have someone special to love and love me and all but I wonder and do not know when and how I will find him!
I never believed in love at first site, but then again when I really get in touch with my feelings I did have a special feeling with one guy in my life where when our eyes met I melted and he actually was very cool and sweet also (just could not be together then as I was not ready that point in my life and he had things going on too so we lost touch) but I have never got that one moment of our eyes meeting for the first time!  So I feel like a sapp like guys r wiith me and that I don't want but it is hard to shake or replace that! What do I do lol Sometime people think I know and have it all with my slim body and sweet personality and I try to always be happy but inside I hurt from things and learn a lot every day ,,,the one good thing about growing older lol Sometimes on here I look back at things I typed in the past or even a few years ago and think wow that sounds stupid lol so this blog may be one of them but I am passionate and artistic and honest to a tee and just me, a girl that is single free spirited but strong and a womens libber but sometimes I love to have a man protect me feeling and people wonder why I would want to be single if I can get the guys but It is a long story with me not just another day  and I need someone special in so many ways that it is hard to explain and on the net everyone lives so far and in public how do you meet guys if you dont go out much, it is hard on so many levels (never imagined it would be so complex...or is it only if u let it?) I think too much! Bottom line I don't need a man but I want one ...one day I hope sooner than later but it will be great when I do I hope so lol.. Kinda be weird at first as its been 6 years lol (7 yrs was my longest relationship although so lol) Peace and night to the single people and okay I cant ever leave anyone out u married get a and need a peace sign lol as I know how hard but blessed that can be also!